The Software Engineer Who Sold His Soul For A Pack of Cigarettes
Apr 28, 2010
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Not everyday you see a European Ramp Model look-alike sipping Whiskey in a Desi Bar (TASMAC ) somewhere in the in the Outskirts of Coimbatore. … The first thought that crossed my mind is that another Foreigner who came soul searching to India , Without the knowledge that people here still had no clue that they already have sold their souls For petty things like religions, demographics, the-IPL, Bollywood and the Great-Indian-Politics
----
I fumbled into this bar to celebrate my yearly LACK of Appraisal , that I just had in the office, a few hours ago.
Four years as a software developer , I had seen people who Joined as fresher , raise to the level of Seniors and Leads and I am still at the place that I started off. The Same old Sweaty seat and the same old weary Desktop.
The Place was a bit crowded but ; I didn’t care…
I just wanted to get drunk quickly. so this is the best place. they serve liquor that tastes like Alien Shit, 95% Homemade with Vijay Malliya’s Million dollar Brand Name just to give it an exotic feel.
But as of today I wasn’t bothered about how it tasted and what the Ethanol or Fucking Methanol proportions was.
I should have listened to my friends back in the Engineering college who told me that Coimbatore was a bad choice; When I had other options like Bangalore, Chennai, Hyderabad and Even Cochin If I wanted to stick to Southern terrain of the country. Well I just turned them all down because I just thought I was happy with my achievement, which I later realized to be the biggest blunder of all.
I always have been a happy-go-Lucky-guy. Never wanted to bite more than I could chew ,I remember my grandma Told me this... but Grandma had no clue what Corporate India would turn out to be… and I would end up at the very bottom of the corporate-food-chain – A Shrimp in a Small software company , where I would report to the guy who just passed out of college two years ago, …
And to make things Worse I have a Boss who has No Balls at all , He could be a Desi version of the Pointed Hairy Boss from the Dilbert comic strip, John was the Marketing Manager of an FMCG company Prior to joining iMac Software Solution (P) Ltd as Chief Operating Officer.
He still thinks Writing Java codes for a much complex Inventory Management system is as simple as selling a Detergent Soaps.
The last bit of the respect for him vaporized when that bastard told me “Vivek you are a Hard worker, But you aren’t a smart worker, There are lot of areas that you have to improve like Excel and Macros, See Java alone wouldn’t get you anywhere.. So The Management has decided you to consider your promotion for the next year…. We have other plans for you. The company has decided to provide you with additional responsibilities so that you yourself could explore your true potential and there is a three percent Hike on your profile for this, that’s the best we are giving Considering the current Economic Situations”
“What the Fuck” No I didn’t say that….
All I said was “Thank you John” and I walked out of the Room
Man , This is all So unfair I know I am much Smarter than most of my seniors. I really wished I had a better life!
I realized that I was out of Cigarettes, I had almost quit smoking a few days ago but you just can’t when you work with assholes desperately trying to Poke a dagger up your ass every time you turn around, Stabbing skill scale differing with the demographics.
A few hours ago I came into this place which looked very odd and 4 shots of Whisky-like fluid made all the eeriness disappear. And It looked a lot like home now .
I waved for the waiter;
I politely asked him, If they had Goldflake Kings…and he Politely told me NO!
Super!!!
A few seconds later … The guy seated on the next to me extended a packet of Dunhill Red, and said; "Help yourself."
Well in my true senses I am very Skeptical and the first thing I would have done in such a situation is refused but to my surprise I just pulled out one and said “Thank you” the Guy lit a match and offered it to me… I took a good look at him, He looked like a European model you see in the FTV Mens with elvish charms and evilly tender frame . His Face was fair and without a single mark or scar, that was all I could catch in the Twilight of the BAR.
Haven’t seen you around, tourist Huh?: My curiosity Popped it!
Oh really? But I have seen you a lot of times;, I know you well. He replied with an accent.
What? I was puzzled, and this was not the answer I was expecting, was the guy hitting on me???
You heard me , I have seen you , I know where you live , where you work, I know your family, your girlfriend, Everything about you. "I EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (:p)" He said taking a long drag from his cigarette.
I was in no intention of retreat; Tell me what was I talking to Swati about, last weekend.
He smiled and said “You didn’t meet her last weekend but the one before... you guys went to Pizza hut and You were whining about how much you hated Rahul’s Mr. Know-It-All attitude and the confidence which he cooks up bullshit”
Well Now, things started to change, the guy was telling me real conversations from my life, Quoting me exactly the way I said it!
Either I am being stalked or I am under surveillance. Or this guy is Supernatural: Don’t tell me- a Vampire? Options chased in one after the another…
But there was one thing: I don’t know why I was stupidly Courageous! Or let me rephrase “I WAS DRUNK, enough not to feel fear”
I looked at him he had all the basic criteria that would qualify him as one.
He smiled and said “I know exactly what you are thinking, But I am no vampire, I am the one who they Bow to…”
“The Devil?” Now I could literally feel blood drain away from my Face, I was desperately hoping Cyrus Broacha jump out of nowhere and tell me “This is MTV Bakra, Vivek” or Aston Kutcher came running screaming you’ve been Punked!!!
For the Next 15 Minutes, I sat there and nothing like that happened, and I was sure that this was the last cigarette I am ever going to have,so I took long drags savoring it’s flavor…
“I am not going to kill you , I am just here to help, Normally I give 10 wishes but taking in consideration the current Prices hike In India My Accounts Department and Downsized the list to two in return for your soul . Non-Negotiable! He continued “What‘s in your mind ?”
Think:
what do you expect from a guy who is completely SLOSHED when asked such a question
:I said “I Need to pay the bill and get back Home, and Can I have one more cigarette”
Next thing I hear is “Granted and you can keep the pack, Thank you Nice doing business with you” …. And he walks away into the darkness…
Well , after a month I received an Offer Letter from IBM ; Behind the cover it was written “Complimentary offer: Happy B’day”
Posts
LOL! How nice it would be if everyone had a complimentary offer similar to it rofl.
Man! Thats awesome writing! Even if is a true one, i wont believe it! LoL! ;)
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. ;)
Thanks for the comments mates!!!
Interesting piece!
The writing is good ... but I loved the language!!
Nice story... but is that GOD whom you were talking to? Otherwise how come he knew about your personal matters?
@Partha Prathim:
Thanks man!
@Shankha : Thanks for the comment , It 's about an urban legend called 'Pact with the devil' ;)
I am glad you told me about this because i.... loved it!
I don't care about John but you do have potential.
"A Shrimp in a Small software company" and "Stabbing skill scale differing with the demographics"
-- Awesome!
Observations : Work on your grammar and restrict the use of caps lock to where its only necessary. Otherwise, i think your on your way to writing brilliance.
No doubt you've made it an interesting story.. :)
Lovely..
The style of writing and narration of quick thoughts (especially the calculation of who was the person in bar..) were amazing and simply one could relate to them.
The sentences like..proportion of Ethanol or Methanol, difference in stabbing skills..is he hitting on me..were quite funny.
The whole situation of an employee being frustrated with the system at workplace yet unable to do anything about it due to lack of courage..is something 90% of servicemen/women can relate to and let a deep sigh come out of their mouth!
The management system of the Almighty as mentioned by him was enjoyable....the Almighty was not much compassionate about the sorry state of the person but followed his duty of granting two wishes whatever they might be. The complimentary offer as an afterthought was good on his part :D
All in all....an enjoyable read :)